When Life Shifts: Coping with Change and the Grief We Didn’t Expect

Stephanie Strouth • August 3, 2025

Making Room for Growth When Life Turns Unexpected

Change can hit us like a wave. Sometimes it's refreshing, sometimes overwhelming, and often, completely outside of our control. Whether it’s a career transition, a relationship ending, a move, or a health diagnosis, change has a way of stirring up emotional responses that feel oddly familiar. That’s because major life changes often mirror the stages of grief.

Just like we grieve a loss, we can grieve the life we expected to have. At Anchoring Hope Counseling, with offices in Wise, Abingdon, and Pennington Gap, VA, we often help clients understand that what they’re feeling isn’t just frustration or anxiety. It's grief.

The Stages of Grief and Change

Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’s five stages of grief — denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance — weren’t just meant for losing loved ones. They apply to the emotional rollercoaster of unwanted change:

Denial: “This isn’t really happening.” We may try to push change away or pretend it won’t last.

Anger: “Why is this happening to me?” This often turns into blame — of others, ourselves, or even life itself.

Bargaining: “If I just work harder, maybe things can go back to how they were.” We look for ways to control the uncontrollable.

Depression: “What’s the point?” We begin to feel the weight of the loss, even if it’s just the loss of certainty.

Acceptance: “It’s happening, and I can move forward.” This is when we begin to make peace with our new reality.

This framework helps explain why a life transition, like starting medication for anxiety, beginning depression counseling, or adjusting to a new role, can feel so deeply emotional. We're not just reacting to the change itself, but to the loss of the expectations and identity that came before it.

5 Ways to Cope with Unwanted Change

Whether you're navigating the aftermath of a divorce, struggling with a sudden diagnosis, or starting a new phase of life you didn’t ask for, here are five practical ways to manage:

1. Acknowledge What You’re Feeling

Name your emotions without judgment. Are you sad? Angry? Numb? Confused? All of these are valid responses. Avoiding your feelings won’t make them disappear. It just delays healing.

2. Get Grounded in Routine

When everything feels uncertain, structure can help. Keep small daily routines, whether it’s your morning coffee ritual, a walk after dinner, or weekly therapy in Wise or Abingdon. Familiar patterns offer stability.

3. Reach Out, Don’t Isolate

Talk to people you trust. Counseling is especially helpful when you feel stuck in a loop of grief or anxiety. We see this often in anxiety counseling. Connection creates clarity. If you're in the area, Anchoring Hope Counseling in Abingdon offers both traditional therapy and medication management for deeper support.

4. Focus on What You Can Control

When change takes over one part of life, zoom in on areas you still influence. Your boundaries, your attitude, and your self-care all matter. Even making decisions about what time you go to bed can restore a sense of autonomy.

5. Adjust Your Expectations

Change doesn’t just challenge our routines. It challenges our internal narrative. Maybe life doesn’t look like you thought it would, but that doesn’t mean it’s ruined. Growth often begins in the space where expectations fall away.

A Final Thought

Change can feel like a loss, but it can also be a beginning. You don’t have to rush to feel okay. You don’t have to skip straight to acceptance. But you do deserve support while you figure it out.

Whether you're seeking depression counseling, help with medication management in Abingdon, or a safe space to process the unexpected, we're here for you.

You may not have chosen this change. But you can choose how you grow from it.

Anchoring Hope Counseling offers trauma-informed care, flexible scheduling, and a compassionate team of providers across Wise, Abingdon, and Pennington Gap, VA. Ready to talk? We’re ready to listen.The body content of your post goes here. To edit this text, click on it and delete this default text and start typing your own or paste your own from a different source.

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Feeling Overwhelmed by Life Changes? How to Manage Stress and Know When to Seek Counseling in Virginia

By Stephanie Strouth • July 9, 2025

Struggling with stress during a major life change? Learn practical ways to cope, when to seek counseling in Virginia, and how mental health medications may help. Take our free quiz to see if therapy is right for you.