Clothing/ Household Items Advocate Center Phone: 276-679-0967 Address: 1024 Park Ave NW, Norton, VA 24273 Hours: Monday-Friday 8 -5 Appalachian Community Action & Development Agency, Inc Phone: 276-452-2441 Address: 175 Military Lane, Gate City, VA 24251 Hours: Call for hours of operation Website: www.appcaa.org Family Crisis Support Services Phone: 276-679-7240 Address: 5668 Freedom Boulevard, Norton, VA 24273 Hours: Monday-Friday 9-5, Saturday-Sunday 2-10 Website: www.family-crisis.org Goodwill Phone: 276-679-6150 Address: 205 Ridgeview Rd SW, Wise, VA 24293 Hours: Monday- Saturday 10-7 Red Barn Phone: 276-679-6709 Address: 660 US-58 ALT, Norton, VA 24273 Hours: Monday - Friday 9-5, Saturday 9-4 Salvation Army Phone: 276-328-2000 Address: 109 Glade St SE, Wise, VA 24293 Hours: Monday - Friday 10-4, Saturday 10-3 Dental Services Appalachian Highlands Dental Center Phone: 276-525-4487 Address: 616 Campus Drive #100, Abingdon, VA 24210 Hours: Monday - Friday 8-5 Website: www.applachianhighlandsdental.com Health Wagon - Owens and Hill Dental Health Clinic Phone: 276-328-8850 Address: 5626 Patriot Dr, Wise, VA 24293 Hours: Monday - Friday 9-5 Website: www.thehealthwagon.org Health Wagon Mobile Clinics Courthouse - 206 E Main St., Wise, VA 24293 - First Monday Food City - 603 Wood Ave, Big Stone Gap, VA 24219 - Second Monday IGA - 11133 Indian Creek Road, Pound, VA 24279 - Second Thursday Food City - 16410 Wise Street, St. Paul, VA 24283 - Third Tuesday Doughmakers Pizza Parking Lot - Norton, VA 24273 - Third Wednesday Mountain Comprehensive Health Corporation Phone: 606-633-4871 Address: 226 Medical Plaza Lane Whitesburg, KY 41858 Hours: Monday - Friday 8:30- 8:00, Saturday - Sunday 8:30 - 5:00 Website: www.mchcky.com Wise County and City of Norton Health Department Phone: 276-328-8000 Address: 134 Roberts Ave SW, Wise, VA 24293 Hours: Monday - Friday 8:45 - 4:45 Website: www.vdh.virginia.gov Domestic Violence Support Family Crisis Support Services Phone: 276-679-7240 Address: 5668 Freedom Boulevard, Norton, VA 24273 Hours: Monday-Friday 9-5, Saturday-Sunday 2-10 Website: www.family-crisis.org National Domestic Violence Hotline Phone: 800-799-7233 Text: Text BEGIN to 88788 Website: www.thehotline.org Victim Witness Program Phone: 276-328-4421 Hours: unavailable Address: 214 East Main Street, Wise, VA 24293 Website: https://www.wisecounty.org/DocumentCenter/View/332/Domestic-Violence Brochure-PDF Federal/State Support Social Security Administration Phone: 800-772-1213 Address: 253 Ridgeview Rd SW, Wise, VA 24293 Hours: Monday - Friday 9-4 Website: www.ssa.gov Virginia Cooperative Extension Phone: 276-328-6194 Address: 515 Hurricane Rd NE, Wise, VA, 24293 Hours: Monday-Friday: 9-5 Website: www.wise.ext.vt.edu Food Assistance Advocate Center Phone: 276-679-0967 Address: 1024 Park Avenue NW, Norton, VA 24273 Hours: Monday - Friday 10-3 East Stone Gap Baptist Church Food Pantry Phone: 276-523-9958 Address: 3904 E Stone Gap Rd, Big Stone Gap, VA 24219 Hours: Monday & Wednesday 10-12 First Baptist Church Phone: 276-395-6237 Address: 701 Front St E, Coeburn, VA 24230 Hours: Thursdays 10-1 Food Bank of Wise County, Inc. Phone: 276-679-3663 Address: 200 Industrial Drive Northeast Norton, VA 24273 Hours: Tuesday, Friday 10:00-11:30 Food Bank of Wise County, Inc. Phone: 276-523-2110 Address: 914 Wood Ave W, Big Stone Gap, VA 24219 Hours: Tuesday & Thursday 9:30 - 11:30 Meals with a Mission Phone: 276-523-1288 Address: 14 East 11th Street North, Big Stone Gap, VA 24219 Hours: Call for more information Mountain Empire Older Citizens Congregate Nutrition Program Phone: 276-523-4202 Address: 1501 Third Ave East, Big Stone Gap, VA 24219 Hours: Monday - Friday 8:30 - 4:30 Wise County/Norton Health Department - WIC Benefits Phone: 276-328-8000 Address: 134 Roberts Ave SW, Wise, VA 24293 Hours: Monday - Friday 8:45 - 4:45 Wise County Department of Social Services - SNAP Benefits Phone: 276-328-8056 Address: 5612 N Bear Creek Rd, Wise, VA 24293 Hours: Monday - Friday 8:00-4:30 Zion Family Ministries Food Pantry Phone: 276-679-1871 Address: 1613 Norton Rd, Wise, VA 24293 Hours: 4th Monday of each month from 9:30 until food is gone Housing/Shelter Assistance Advocate Center Phone: 276-679-0967 Address: 1024 Park Ave NW, Norton, VA 24273 Hours: Monday-Friday 8-5 Appalachian Community Action & Development Agency, Inc Phone: 276-452-2441 Address: 175 Military Lane, Gate City, VA 24251 Hours: Call for hours of operation Website: www.appcaa.org Big Stone Gap Redevelopment & Housing Authority Phone: 276-523-4788 Address: 170 Dogwood Tier, Big Stone Gap, VA 24219 Hours: Monday-Friday- 8:30- 4:30 Website: https://bsgha.org Commonwealth Catholic Charities Phone: 276-679-1195 Address: 507 Park Avenue Southwest, Norton, VA 24273 Hours: Monday - Friday 8:30 - 5:00 Website: www.cccofva.org Family Crisis Support Services Phone: 276-679-7240 Address: 5668 Freedom Boulevard, Norton, VA 24273 Hours: Monday-Friday 9-5, Saturday-Sunday 2-10 Website: https://family-crisis.org Norton Redevelopment & Housing: Phone: 276-679-020 Address: 200 6th St NW, Norton, VA 24273 Hours: Monday-Friday-8:00-4:30 Website: https://nortonrha.org Wise County Redevelopment & Housing Authority Phone: 276-395-6104 Address: 107 Litchfield St NW, Coeburn, VA 24230 Hours: Monday-Friday-8-4 Website: https://www.wcrha.org Legal Assistance Circuit Clerk Court Phone number: 276-328-6111 Address: 206 E Main St #245, Wise, VA 24293 Hours: Monday-Friday-8-4 Website: https://courtbar.org General District Court Clerk Phone: 276-328-3426 Address: 206 E Main St #341, Wise, VA 24293 Hours: Monday-Friday-8-4 Website: https://www.vacourts.gov/courts/gd/home Juvenile & Domestics Relations Court Clerk Phone: 276-328-4486 Address: 206 E Main St #1, Wise, VA 24293 Hours: Monday-Friday-8-4 Website: https://www.vacourts.gov/courts/jdr/home Commonwealth Attorney Phone: 276-328-9406 Address: 206 E Main St #123, Wise, VA 24293 Hours: Monday- Friday- 9-6 Website: https://www.wisecounty.org/Directory.aspx?did=23 Magistrate’s Office Phone: 276-328-8947 Address: 5601 Patriot Dr, Wise, VA 24293 Hours: Monday-Friday- 24 hours a day Website: https://www.courts.state.va.us/courtadmin/aoc/mag/map/magregion1 Victim Witness Program Phone: 276-328-4421 Hours: unavailable Address: 214 East Main Street, Wise, VA 24293 Website: https://www.wisecounty.org/DocumentCenter/View/332/Domestic-Violence Brochure-PDF Medical Assistance Health Wagon Clinics Phone: 276-328-8850 Address: 5626 Patriot Dr, Wise, VA 24293 Hours: Monday - Friday 9-5 Website: https://thehealthwagon.org/ Health Wagon St. Mary’s Clinic Phone: 276-455-5556 Address: 116 Centre Ave NE, Coeburn, VA 24230 Hours: Monday - Friday 9-5 Health Wagon Mobile Clinics Courthouse - 206 E Main St., Wise, VA 24293 - First Monday Food City - 603 Wood Ave, Big Stone Gap, VA 24219 - Second Monday IGA - 11133 Indian Creek Road, Pound, VA 24279 - Second Thursday Food City - 16410 Wise Street, St. Paul, VA - Third Tuesday Doughmakers Pizza Parking Lot - Norton, VA 24273 - Third Wednesday Mountain Comprehensive Health Corporation Phone: 606- 633-4871 Address: 226 Medical Plaza Lane, Whitesburg, KY 41858 Hours: Monday - Friday 8:30 - 8:00, Saturday - Sunday 8:30 - 5:00 Website: https://www.mchcky.com/ Mountain Comprehensive Health Corporation - Pound Medical Clinic Phone: 276-796-8100 Address: 11313 Highland Avenue, Pound, VA 24279 Hours: Monday - Friday 8:30 - 5:00 Norton Community Hospital Phone: 276-439-1000 Address: 100 15th St NW, Norton, VA 24273 Hours: 24 hours a day Norton VA Clinic Phone: 276-679-8010 Address: 654 US-58 ALT, Norton, VA 24273 Hours: Monday - Friday 8:00-4:30 Wise County/Norton Health Department Phone number: 276-328-8000 Address: 134 Roberts ST SW, Wise, VA 24293 Hours: Monday-Friday 8-5 Mental Health Services Anchoring Hope Counseling Phone: 276-298-5034 Address: 217 E. Main St, Wise, VA 24293 Website: www.ahchope.com Hours: Monday - Friday 9-7 Clarvida Phone: 276-679-1045 Address: 340 Anderson Hollow Rd NE, Norton, VA 24273 Hours: Monday - Friday 9-5 Frontier Health - Wise County Behavioral Health Phone: 276-260-9991 Address: 295 Wharton Lane, Norton, VA 24273 Hours: Monday - Thursday 8-6, Friday 8-12 Healing Waters Counseling Center Phone: 276-963-0111 Address: 106 Spring Ave NE, Wise, VA 24293 Hours: Monday - Friday 9-5 Health Connect America Phone: 276-6447690 Address: 616 Park Ave NW, Norton, VA 24273 Hours: Monday - Friday 9-5 Prescription Assistance Advocate Center Phone: 276-679-0967 Address: 1024 Park Ave NW, Norton, VA 24273 Hours: Monday-Friday 8-5 St. Mary’s Faith Pharmacy Phone: 276-328-8850 Address: 5626 Patriot Dr, Wise, VA 24293 Hours: Monday - Friday 9-5 Substance Abuse Services Crossroads Treatment Center of Wise Phone: 877-848-9810 Address: 163 Plaza Rd, Wise, VA 24293 Hours: Monday 2-5, Tuesday 9-1, Thursday 9-12 Frontier Health - Wise County Behavioral Health Phone: 276-260-9991 Address: 295 Wharton Lane, Norton, VA 24273 Hours: Monday - Thursday 8-6, Friday 8-12 Groups Recover Together Phone: 540-202-2554 Address: 280 Virginia Ave NE Suite 104, Norton, VA 24273 Hours: Mon 10-8, Tues & Wed 9-7, Thur 10-8 Hopkins Medical Association Phone: 276-409-2463 Address: 1014 Park Ave NW, Norton, VA 24273 Hours: Monday - Friday 9-5 New Life Medicine Phone: 276-409-5922 Address: 1725 Park Ave SW, Norton, VA 24273 Hours: Monday - Friday 8-5 Savida Health Big Stone Gap Phone: 276-409-5055 Address: 310 Cloverleaf Square Suite B2, BSG, VA 24219 Hours: Monday - Friday 9-5 Savida Health Coeburn Phone: 276-777-0380 Address: 208 W Front St, Coeburn, VA 24230 Hours: Monday - Friday 9-5 Spero Health Phone: 276-325-7608 Address: 338 Coeburn Ave SW Suite 336, Norton, VA 24273 Hours: Call for hours of operation Suicide and Crisis Support Frontier Health - Crisis Response Hotline Phone: 877-928-9062 Hours: 24 hours a day Frontier Health - Hawthorne Place Phone: 276-679-1436 Address: 500 Hawthorne Place, Norton, Va 24273 Hours: Walk ins 24 hours a day Frontier Health - Link House Phone: 877-288-1828 Address: 433 New Beason Well Rd, Kingsport, TN Hours: 24 hours a day Crisis support for teens who are afraid to go home 911 Emergency Services Phone: 911 Hours: 24 hours a day 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline Phone: 988 - Call, text, or chat Hours: 24 hours a day Transportation Advocate Center Phone: 276-679-0967 Address: 1024 Park Ave NW, Norton, VA 24273 Hours: Monday-Friday 8-5 MEOC Public Transit Phone: 888-877-6748 Address: 1380 3rd Ave E, Big Stone Gap, VA 24219 Hours: Monday - Friday 7-5 Medicaid Recipients call the following numbers for public transit or gas reimbursement to medicaid appointments: Aetna Better Health of Virginia…………….....800-734-0430 Anthem HealthKeepers Plus…………………..877-892-3988 Human Healthy Horizons of Virginia…………877-718-4215 Sentara Health Plans…………………………..877-892-3986 United Healthcare of the Mid-Atlantic………..833-215-3885 Utilities Assistance Advocate Center Phone: 276-679-0967 Address: 1024 Park Ave NW, Norton, VA 24273 Hours: Monday-Friday 8-5 Appalachian Community Action & Development Agency, Inc Phone: 276-452-2441 Address: 175 Military Lane, Gate City, VA 24251 Hours: Call for hours of operation Family Crisis Support Services Phone: 276-679-7240 Address: 5668 Freedom Boulevard, Norton, VA 24273 Hours: Monday-Friday 9-5, Saturday-Sunday 2-10 Website: https://family-crisis.org

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First, I’d like to thank the organizers of the Crimes Against Children Conference in Virginia Beach for the opportunity to speak on such an important and sensitive topic. During the session, we focused on understanding and supporting non-offending spouses when a child abuse case comes to light. Because time was limited, this post offers additional guidance for professionals—therapists, advocates, investigators, lawyers, and victim-witness specialists—on how to respond in ways that minimize harm and promote recovery. When a parent or spouse is revealed to have abused a child, the non-offending partner often experiences profound shock, grief, betrayal, and social isolation. How we as professionals respond in those early days can dramatically affect that person’s ability to stabilize, support their children, and engage safely with the investigative and healing process. Each case is unique, so every response must be trauma-informed and grounded in compassion. Before the Disclosure: Recognizing Four Subtle Relationship Warning Signs Professionals often ask, “How could someone not have known?” These early patterns are easily misinterpreted as normal relationship quirks rather than abuse precursors. 1. Secrecy and Evasiveness Hidden communications, vague explanations about time away, or “you’re overreacting” responses to basic questions are early warning signs. Over time, this secrecy isolates the partner and erodes trust. 2. Public vs. Private Persona Many offenders maintain a spotless public image including community volunteering, devoted parent, or leader in various capacities, while privately showing manipulation, control, or unhealthy interests. 3. Gaslighting and Reality Distortion Victims are conditioned to doubt their perceptions through statements like “you’re paranoid” or “you’re remembering wrong.” This cognitive dissonance keeps them silent and compliant. 4. Empathy Exploitation Abusers often weaponize pity, framing themselves as misunderstood or traumatized. The spouse’s empathy becomes the mechanism that keeps them from confronting or reporting. Recognizing these dynamics helps professionals interpret behaviors that may seem confusing in hindsight. For Therapists Primary Goal: Provide stabilization, trauma recovery, and parenting support. Assess trauma and self-blame. Validate that manipulation and grooming can deceive even highly perceptive partners. Focus on safety first. Stabilization and grounding skills should come before deeper trauma work. Support the parenting role. Help rebuild trust and communication with children. Collaborate with other systems. With consent, coordinate with investigators or attorneys to align with safety planning. Normalize protective coping. Dissociation, numbness, or “function mode” often serve as temporary survival strategies—avoid pathologizing these early responses. For Advocates & Service Providers (In addition to Advocates, this includes case managers, clergy, medical staff, educators, and social workers.) Primary Goal: Bridge practical assistance with compassionate listening. Offer one consistent point of contact. Familiarity reduces chaos and fear. Provide clear, step-by-step guidance. Court navigation, safety planning, and resource linkage are stabilizing. Validate complex grief. They’re mourning both the partner and the imagined life they’ve lost. Screen for financial and housing needs. Many were financially dependent on the offender. Connect them to peers. Survivor or support groups for non-offending partners reduce isolation and shame. For Investigators Primary Goal: Minimize secondary trauma while obtaining accurate information. Use trauma-informed interviewing. Replace “How could you not know?” with “Can you walk me through when you first became aware of…?” Acknowledge the shock. A small statement like “I know this is overwhelming” humanizes the process. Explain procedures and rights. Outline what to expect and what information can or cannot be shared. Coordinate early with advocates. Immediate referrals to victim-witness staff or counseling reduce fear and confusion. Avoid unnecessary detail. Graphic information retraumatizes; share only what is relevant to the case. For Lawyers (Defense, Family, GAL, or Victim-Side) Primary Goal: Protect legal interests while minimizing harm. Clarify that cooperation ≠ complicity. The spouse is often a secondary victim, not a co-conspirator. Explain rights and reporting obligations. Address confidentiality, privilege, and custody laws in plain language. Advocate for child safety. Request supervised visitation or trauma-informed evaluations where appropriate. Coordinate with mental health providers. Align legal strategies with therapeutic safety plans. Avoid jargon. Clear, calm explanations reduce anxiety and increase cooperation. For Victim-Witness Advocates Primary Goal: Provide emotional continuity and navigation through the legal system. Be the anchor. One steady point of contact helps offset the instability of multiple agencies. Prepare them for court processes. Explain timelines, hearings, and victim compensation. Normalize conflicting emotions. Anger, guilt, and compassion can coexist. Help address practical needs. Support access to emergency funding, transportation, or housing. Encourage long-term connection. Healing continues long after court concludes. Shared Best Practices Across All Roles Adopt a non-blame stance. Treat the spouse as a survivor of secondary trauma, not a failed gatekeeper. Promote agency and choice. Ask before sharing information or making referrals. Maintain confidentiality boundaries. Transparency builds trust. Encourage multidisciplinary collaboration. Warm handoffs reduce retraumatization. Recognize chronic stress. Healing from betrayal and abuse is a long-term process. Guidelines for Stabilization and Recovery 1. Immediate Emotional and Psychological Support Encourage trauma-informed therapy and survivor groups. Normalize guilt, anger, and confusion as trauma responses. 2. Safety and Protection Develop physical and digital safety plans. File restraining orders if harassment or intimidation occurs. 3. Legal and Custody Considerations Consult attorneys familiar with abuse cases. Document all communications and behaviors carefully. 4. Parenting and Helping the Children Provide specialized trauma therapy for children. Reinforce supervised visitation and open, age-appropriate communication. 5. Social and Community Rebuilding Address stigma and self-blame. Encourage rebuilding identity and autonomy through education, work, and personal growth. Closing Thoughts Supporting non-offending spouses requires compassion, patience, and coordination. When professionals respond with empathy and clarity, they reduce long-term trauma, promote safer family dynamics, and improve outcomes for children and caregivers alike. If you or your agency would like additional training, consultation, or counseling, please reach out through the Anchoring Hope Counseling and Psychiatric Services Contact Page. Our team offers trauma-informed therapy, psychiatric care, and professional education for those impacted by abuse.

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