Unblending Yourself: How Internal Family Systems Therapy Can Help You Manage Overwhelming Emotions

Stephanie Strouth • September 22, 2025

When the goal becomes unblending, things get a little... weird.

Have you ever found yourself overwhelmed by your own feelings, reacting in ways that feel automatic or out of control? Maybe you’ve snapped at a friend, felt paralyzed by anxiety, or criticized yourself mercilessly over something small. If this resonates, you’re not alone. And there’s a therapeutic approach that might help you understand and work with these experiences: Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy.

What is IFS Therapy?

Internal Family Systems is an evidence-based therapeutic model that views the mind as made up of distinct “parts”, each with its own thoughts, emotions, and roles. Some parts protect us, some carry pain, and some try to keep us safe, even if their methods are extreme.

Trauma, stress, and everyday life experiences can cause these parts to blend with our core Self (the calm, compassionate, and curious center of who we are). When blended, a part takes over, and we might feel consumed by anger, fear, shame, or sadness.

IFS has been shown to be effective for:

Trauma recovery

Anxiety and depression

Addiction and compulsive behaviors

Self-esteem and relational challenges

One of its strengths is that it works alongside other trauma-focused therapies, like EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), allowing for deeper processing of traumatic experiences while keeping the Self in the lead.

Everyday Examples of Blending

Blending happens in ways we might not even notice. For example:

You make a small mistake at work, and suddenly your inner critic blares: “I’m a failure. I’ll never get this right.”

Your friend cancels plans, and an anxious part floods in: “They must not like me. Something must be wrong with me.”

A memory triggers anger, and it feels like you’re the angry part: shouting, pacing, or clenching your fists before thinking.

In these moments, it’s easy to believe you are the part, rather than seeing it as a part of you that has a role and a story. That’s where unblending comes in.

7 Practical Strategies to Unblend

Here are some ways IFS therapy helps you step back from overwhelming parts so you can respond with clarity, compassion, and calm:

1. Name the Part

Instead of “I’m anxious,” try: “There’s an anxious part in me right now.” Naming creates a bit of distance, letting your Self observe rather than be overtaken.

2. Notice the Sensations

Pay attention to where the part’s energy shows up in your body. Maybe your chest tightens, your stomach knots, or your jaw clenches. Recognizing this helps you stay grounded in the present.

3. Approach With Curiosity

Ask your part gentle questions: “What are you trying to protect me from?” or “Why do you feel this way?” Curiosity shifts your stance from being swept away to being present and understanding.

4. Practice Self-Leadership

Remind yourself: “I am here in my Self. This part is separate. I can listen without being controlled.” This reinforces your Self as the leader.

5. Visual Separation

Imagine the part as a separate figure in front of you, or as an image in your mind. This helps you relate to the part rather than merge with it.

6. Dialoguing With the Part

Talk to the part internally or on paper: “I see you’re anxious. I want to understand what you need.” This reinforces connection instead of conflict.

7. Grounding in the Present

Focus on your breath, your feet on the floor, or your surroundings. Grounding prevents the part from dragging you into old stories or extreme emotional reactions.

The Daily Unblending Challenge

Here’s a simple 5–10 minute exercise you can try each day to practice unblending:

Sit quietly and take 3 slow, deep breaths.

Notice one part that has been active or challenging today (anxious, angry, critical, or sad).

Name it: “This is my anxious part” or “This is my inner critic.”

Notice where you feel it in your body.

Ask one gentle question: “What do you need from me?” or “Why are you here?”

Imagine the part separate from you, standing in front of you or visualized in a safe space.

Take a moment of grounding, focusing on your feet, breath, or surroundings.

Reflect: Notice the difference in your awareness and sense of Self.

Try this challenge daily for a week and see how your relationship with your parts, and your emotional reactions, can shift.

Taking the Next Step

If you find that your emotions or trauma feel overwhelming, professional guidance can help. Anchoring Hope Counseling offers skilled therapists, medication management, and a wellness app to support your journey. Our team can help you integrate IFS, EMDR, and other evidence-based approaches to give you tools for long-term healing. Visit our Contact page today!

You don’t have to face your inner parts alone—with support, curiosity, and self-compassion, you can navigate your emotions and reclaim your sense of Self.

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From Overwhelmed to Empowered, We’ll Help You Get There

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